Are There Horses in Heaven?

I've decided to tell you a story. It's a story of faith, or maybe lack of it. It's a story about my human limitations getting in the way. It's a story of faith & a child's need for wise words from his grandma. It's a story about how we need each other...one body in Christ.

Austin and his sister Halle lost their Daddy 2 years ago. Matthew was what I'd call a "horse whisperer". Everything that Matthew knew about horses, I was told, came from his grandpa and his dad. But, you know, Matthew had a little bit more.

He was a natural horseman. As at home on a horse as on his own two feet. Bareback or saddled, made no difference to him. I think he must have understood them on such a level as most of us have only seen in movies, like the one with Robert Redford.

Matthew put Austin on a horse at a very early age. So young that I thought my hair would turn white! But, Austin was a good pupil.

Father and son shared a common bond...the love of and respect for horses. Matthew taught Austin everything he knew about horses, and the boy absorbed the information like a sponge.

This story actually begins within weeks of Matthew's passing. It was not unusual for me to be involved in deep conversations with my grandkids...so, for Austin to actually ask me this question really wasn't a surprise.

He just looked at me one evening while he was working on his homework assignment, and asked, "Nana...are there horses in heaven?"

Now, here's where my physicality and my practicality got in the way. What should I say? I never really thought about animals in heaven. I had spent the majority of my adult life believing that in heaven we would find humans...like me...made in God's image...like people. Animals? They don't have souls, do they? Could there be a place for horses there?

Sure...on earth...grab two of every kind and make sure they've got passage on the ark. But, everlasting life?

So, what to say? Guess I did what every grown up does, who's unsure & doesn't want the child to know it..."Well, Austin," I said, "I just don't know."

He just kinda said "hmmm, I hope so."

I just shrugged it off til the subject came up again with him. We were in the car that time, I think. Probably talking history...cuz I love history...and he's a sponge, like I said before.

"Nana, do you think there are horses in heaven?"

By this time, I'd thought the thing through a little bit more. I knew he thought about it all the time. And I knew he wanted me to say yes. There are those hymns, like "All things bright and beautiful, all creatures great and small". Right? And then there's "All Creatures of our God and King, lift up your voice and WITH US sing"...that's gotta be a clue...St. Francis of Assisi wrote those words and he surely knew what he was talking about. Right?

You know, I read somewhere that Newsweek took a poll and found that 76% of Americans believe in Heaven...but, why isn't there a poll that answers that burning question about horses in heaven? What do other people think? I needed help...I needed to hear other people's input.

"Nana...Nana...are there horses in heaven?" Oops, sorry...I was thinking.

"Well, Austin...I think there might be...probably...maybe...I don't know."

When I think of heaven, I think of my grandmothers who taught me how to make doll clothes, popcorn balls, hollyhock dolls, and oatmeal cookies.

When I think of heaven, I think of my Uncle Allen who taught me all kinds of stories about the old days and his folks (he was a Methodist preacher...he loved to tell stories! You know, like Apostle Paul said "some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers..."

Well, my uncle was a great pastor. I do remember how he would have us sit in the living room and listen to the tapes of his sermons! But, that's another story...)

But horses? I don't really think about horses...

When I think of heaven, I think of pearly gates at the entrance...gold brick pavers...crystal clear glass walls...

But, horses?

When I think of heaven, I see my friend Cindy...voice of an angel...or smooth caramel, if you will. Cindy sang with me many years in choir right up here...youth choir, adult choir...and high school mixed choir, small groups, on and on and on...We were even in a small folk group in high school for the Cardinal Capers...played guitars...called ourselves the Soph Strummers...we were sophomores at the time! Cindy even helped me name my first born, Brandon...I remember we were sitting on the floor of my apartment, discussing names & meanings, putting them all together with middle names and writing them out on paper to see how they looked! We chose his 1st and middle name so that we could use the nickname BJ (cuz we both had a crush on BJ Thomas who sang "Raindrops Keep Fallin' On My Head" from "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.") His name means "from the fiery hill"...it suits him. Thank you Cindy, it suits him. Yeah, I see Cindy in heaven. To me, she reminds me of the Pharoah's daughter. You know, she named Moses, Moses because it means "I drew him out of the water".

When I think of heaven, I also see another friend, Diane...who showed us all how to love the Lord, didn't she? Diane delivered a message one Sunday morning on Rahab...mother of Boaz, who would be of the lineage of Jesus. Rahab was a great spiritual hero...kinda like Diane.

But, horses?

When I think of heaven, I see rivers of pure water, a heavenly throne, angels' wings, harps..I see white robes, saints, a heavenly choir...

But horses?

When I think of heaven, I see blissful, happy people...family...I see my Dad...I see my friend, Jay, now a warrior for God.

But, horses?

So, one day at work, I was talking to my friend Vicky about this. "Vicky, you know my grandson has asked me for two years about horses in heaven. And I just don't know...I wish I could say so with certainty...but, I just don't know." I strive always to be honest with my grandkids.

And Vicky, dear sweet Vicky, looked me in the eye and said, "Of course, there are horses in heaven."

"Huh?" (Now Vicky is a Christian woman, and I knew she knew what she was talking about. But, I'd been blinded to this for a long time!)

She said, "Ann, remember...the heavens will open and Jesus will come to us on a white horse?"

Fact...end of mystery!

I think my jaw dropped! God had placed Vicky with me at that moment when I expressed my concern for Austin, and He gave her the answer! God had placed Vicky with me at that moment when I needed help the most!

Awesome!

I have to say that I'd not been so excited for a long time! I couldn't wait to get over to my daughter's house and talk to Austin.

I waited til football practice was over, and called up there. He'd gone to a friend's house in New Market to play for an hour before coming home...Man! I could hardly stand it! My excitement was building for sure! I said, "Please call me the minute he gets home, ok? I wanna talk to him!" Cathy goes, "Huh?" (I think my family says that a lot!) I told her, "You'll see!"

When Austin did get home, she called me...I grabbed my Bible...the passage already marked...and sped up there (well, I didn't speed actually, but I went as fast as I could!)

He knew I was coming...his Mom had told him I wanted to talk to him (I think she assured him he wasn't in trouble! Cuz he didn't look scared when I got there!)

Bible in hand, we walked into his mother's room and he and I sat in the middle of her bed. I held my Bible up in front of me, and said, "Austin, do you believe that what is in the Bible is true?"

"Yes" he said. No hesitation. But, by this time he was looking pretty confused.

So, I quickly read Rev 19: 11-14: "I saw heaven standing open and there before me was a white horse, whose rider is called Faithful and True. With justice he judges and makes war. His eyes are like blazing fire, and on his head are many crowns. He has a name written on him that no one knows but he himself. He is dressed in a robe dipped in blood, and his name is the Word of God. The armies of heaven were following him, riding on white horses and dressed in fine linen, white and clean."

Austin was so excited he literally exploded off the bed, running to his mother who was in the laundry room. "Mommy, Mommy, there are horses in heaven!"

Yes, Austin...there ARE horses in heaven!

I have to say that now, when I think of heaven...I see Cindy in the heavenly choir, Diane at the foot of the throne, Jay guarding the gates, Uncle Allen telling stories, Dad guiding newcomers in the throne room, my grandparents in places of honor, and Matthew with the horses...yeah, Matthew working the horses! And I feel such deep, abiding joy for this eternal abode. All who have placed their faith in Jesus...all creatures great and small...have rooms in mansions of shimmering beauty & jeweled foundations.

Yes, Austin...there ARE horses in heaven!

Amen

September 11, 2010

During the Revolutionary War, Congress bestowed upon the Marquis de Lafayette the position of honorary major general. He responded with these words:

"The moment I heard of America, I loved her; the moment I knew she was fighting for freedom, I burned with a desire of bleeding for her; and the moment I shall be able to serve her at any time, or in any part of the world, will be the happiest one of my life."

Monday, Aug 9

"Teach her above all things to be good, because without that we can neither be valued by others nor set any value on ourselves. Teach her to be always true; no vice is so mean as the want of truth, and at the same time so useless. Teach her never to be angry; anger only serves to torment ourselves, to divert others, and alienate their esteem.

And teach her industry and application to useful pursuits. I will venture to assure you that if you inculcate this in her mind, you will make her a happy being in herself, a most inestimable friend to you, and precious to all the world.

In teaching her these dispositions of mind, you will be more fixed in them yourself and render yourself dear to all your acquaintances. Practice them, then, my dear, without ceasing. If ever you find yourself in difficulty and doubt how to extricate yourself, do what is right, and you will find it the easiest way of getting out of the difficulty.

Do it for the additional incitement of increasing the happiness of him who loves you infinitely, and who is, my dear Patsy, yours affectionately."

- Thomas Jefferson, in a letter to his daughter Martha (nicknamed Patsy) in reference to his only other living daughter, Mary (called Polly) who was six years her junior. TJ had traveled to Paris in approx. 1984 to serve as successor to Dr. Benjamin Franklin as ambassador. He originally traveled with his oldest daughter only, and left the younger with his dearly departed wife's sister and husband. After a short time, he sent for his younger daughter because he missed her so much.

Doug & me

And this is my Douglas...
Love him!

Here I am!

I'm back...bet you thought I'd abandoned my online "diary". It's been a rough summer for Doug and myself. Doug lost his brother Jay on July 21 to liver disease. We all prayed that Jay would get better, but it was not to be. It was two days before his 40th birthday, and a tragedy on so many levels.

I think that Doug & I are the saddest couple we've ever known. Coping with so much death this summer is a struggle for us every day. Doug would like to commemorate Jay with a tattoo of a design that would remind him of Jay and everything he meant to him. They had a close relationship. It's interesting, because I had wanted to do that very thing...commemorate Dad with a tattoo...and at my age! Well, Cathy has already put questions in my mind concerning that subject. And also under consideration is "what would Dad think?" EEEKKK!!

I did take a trip to Maryland... Though I'd resigned myself to the fact that Brandon would not be there (he left on the 12th), I did enjoy seeing my family there. Cathy let me take Halle. It was fun for her to see her cousins, and I believe she enjoyed the flight as well! So, spending time with the kids was comforting and enjoyable, and I appreciate everything that Keely does for her family while he is gone! What a job it is taking care of four kids and shuffling them all to their activities! It makes an ol' grandma pooped just trying to soak it in!

We went to DC on Sat, the Chesapeake Bay Bridge & Annapolis on Sun, and to Mt Vernon on Monday...it was AWESOME!

A wet & rainy 4th!

Yesterday we got 2.5" of steady rain...enough to cancel the big Fourth of July parade in New Market and the fireworks that evening. Austin had planned to ride his horse in the parade along with Papa. I've not heard anything about a "rain date" for either event.
I spent the day indoors...played with Lukas while his mother slept, checked on Mom for a bit, and came home to watch a few reruns on TV. It was that kind of day. Looked like a rainforest out there...
I did talk to Lanny for an hour on Saturday. We compared notes about our dads and talked about ourselves. Staying in touch...
Doug has been spending a lot of time in Omaha visiting his brother Jay who is in ICU at University of Nebraska Medical Center. He has been there since Father's Day, and progress is slow. Please pray for Jay and the family.
I am trying to plan a visit to Brandon's family in Maryland. He won't be there this time, but I will still go to see Caitlynn, Sarah, Aaron, Nora, Keely, Clyde & Chief (who I've yet to meet!). I'm not sure who is going with me...maybe Mom, maybe Halle, maybe Kris.
I miss Dad still. Will this emptiness ever go away? How has Halle & Austin dealt with the loss of their daddy at such a young age? and I am so lonely for mine?

Sunday, June 20

Our first Father's Day without Dad. We prepared for the day by scheduling events together...had grilled steak at Doug's last night with sides provided by Kris & myself. And today we met at J's Pizza for a late noon meal...Keith, Kris, Paul, Cathy, Lukas, Halle, Mom & myself. (Austin spent the major part of the day with his "Papa", Hal. Doug was at this parents' for dinner, and came late.) We concluded our meal with a toast to Dad. Bittersweet.

Mom came to church this morning and sat in the same pew she & Dad sat in for years. After my part in the service was over, I came down & sat with her.

Boy...everything is weird without Dad.

Another week starts tomorrow (the two week mark), and it's also the beginning of summer...the longest day of the year. Storms have been rumbling across this part of the country...lots of rumbling...and rain...lots of rain. More coming this night, too. Ah, me!

We do not lose the ones we love,

They only go before.

Where there is everlasting life,

And darkness is no more.

There the soul will always live,

And peace is everywhere.

We do not lose the ones we love.

God takes them in His care.

~Unknown~

Friday, June 18

Yeah! Now my niece is a blogger, too! I told her this is therapeutic...hope she enjoys it. I'll be watching!
Friday...couldn't have gotten here too soon for me this week. I managed to make it through (with some lousy sleep at night) and am glad the weekend is here. We are planning on some get-togethers for Saturday night and maybe Sunday noon. Trying to get through this Father's Day holiday will be difficult.
Doug is planning on grilling steaks tomorrow night for Keith, Kris, Mom & myself. Then Sunday, I think we have dinner over at Keith's...Paul is serving at mass in the morning (in Omaha, I think) so the time is questionable. I'm hoping Cathy gets to spend some time with her Dad that day, too.
We continue to receive mail of sympathy cards & memorial gifts. We are truly blessed to have so many wonderful friends! And to know that Dad made such an impression on peoples' lives...it is awesome for us!
Thank you everyone!

Thursday, June 17

This is a picture of my kids with Mike & Lukas after Dad's Memorial Service. Cutie patooties, huh?

Anyway, after work tonight, I helped Mom finish...yes, finish...the thank you notes for all our friends! Yeah! And whew!

Then, I brought her over here to my house, where we had a cold meat sandwich for supper with some ice tea. I got on this web site and let her read the entire blog...she, having been Dad's caretaker, had not been able to read what I'd been writing.

We got together our lawn chairs, and then took off for Austin's city league game. (I know...it DOES seem like Austin has games every night, doesn't it?) We sat with Cathy, Mike & Lukas, and Marcelene. The wind was blowing strong, and we were in the shade, so we didn't feel the heat so bad.

It's nice that we have some things to go to, so she can get out of the house. Not sure what tomorrow will bring.

Love to all!

Wednesday, June 16

I got my car back today...the bank is helping me out a little bit here! And then went to Austin's baseball game with Cathy & her family. The sun was behind clouds, so the weather was nice & breezy.
After getting back home, I went over to Mom's and helped out with the thank you's. She had made a BIG dent in the list, and I was able to help whittle it down to maybe a dozen left for tomorrow. Thank you everyone for the memorial gifts, the yummy foods, and the beautiful flowers. With the memorial money we hope to be able to designate it for a large project in the church, or a needed repair, or upkeep in some way. Dad loved that building. We still see his fingerprints everywhere on it!

Tuesday, June 15

Here is Keith, Emily, Mom, and I after the Memorial Service last Saturday morning. Oh, my goodness...does that shirt make me look FAT!

Today, I found out that the fuel pump went out on my car...thank you, Keith, for all the legwork, phone work, and time you spent down at Champ's checking on the car for me! You are a God-send!

So, I may be in the cheese line before the end of the month...but at least the car will be working! And, of course...there's my scooter!

Monday, June 14

Sunday, June 13

The Celebration of Life service was both meaningful and respectful. The National Guard presentation of the American flag to Mom was moving...I can't even describe it. Paul spoke with heartfelt emotion, bringing us a picture of Dad as a grandpa that was tender and humorous at the same time. He evoked scripture & reference to saints, and composed a picture of words to describe heaven with Grandpa in it.
Keith was also spot on, and tugged at my heart. I could not have done it...he was amazing, too. Micky recited the poem Emily had written for Dad on Father's Day.
And Pastor Andy spoke of Dad as the Lord's servant...just as I always envisioned.
ALL THE GRANDCHILDREN were there! The family took up half the pews on the west side. What a sight we must have made coming down the aisle.
*************************************************
Brandon left around 2:00 for the KC airport. So, he missed a family birthday party for Halle who turned 14 last Thursday. Cathy's house was busting at the seams! And today, I drove Kevin to the KC airport to catch his flight. Mom said she had a small Walmart list, as did I, so I brought her with us. We planned on stopping at Maryville on the way home, but my car suddenly stopped, and I do mean STOPPED, about 17 miles south of Maryville!
Doug's daughter Amber & her guy Ethan were in Maryville for a movie, so they drove down to check on the engine. (Ethan is a very handy farmer, who knows his stuff!) And then Keith came down, too, bringing Keith III with him. They pushed the car to the side of the road, Doug called Snyder's for a tow, and we left it sitting there.
Keith took us on to Walmart, and then brought us home. I'm afraid Mom will never ride with me again! (She also mentioned she wished we'd brought her car!)
Anyway, Doug & I took a ride on the Harley and saw that it was indeed back in Clarinda.
I must add at this point that Doug had an equally bad day. His Tahoe is broke down, so he drove the pickup to the Dollar General. In the parking lot it caught fire, they called 911, and the fire department came to the rescue!
Now, we are both "vehicle-less"!
More on that later.....................

Monday, June 7

Dad passed away this morning. Early. 2:45 a.m. The Lord came to meet him, reached for his hand, and welcomed him home. We said good-bye. And on the other side, others said "Hello, Keith! So glad you are home!" His parents, brothers, relatives, friends, even my son...all were there to greet him...I know this is true.
Christ has prepared a beautiful room for him in His mansion. Keith, a good and faithful servant, a man of integrity & honor, obedient son, loyal brother, faithful husband, and fantastic father.
He is finally at peace and in a safe place, healed and whole, and resting his weary head on an angel's wings. The journey was long and arduous, sad and painful, difficult and fearful. But he is there now!
We love you, Dad! Thank you for all you taught us, we will never forget your love, your diligence, your steadfastness, your faith, and your integrity.
You were a great man on earth, and you will be a great soul in heaven!

Sunday, June 6

Sunday...it seems like we've been doing this such a long time, watching over him, administering pain meds, giving him drinks of water from a spoon, trying to help him roll over to his side, etc. etc. etc.
This noon I made tater tot casserole. And tonight, Doug brought over supper. He grilled burgers & hot dogs, and made fried potatoes! It was a feast!
This little family has such great love for him, and for each other. Like Kris said, "He's a great man." Emily has told him not to be afraid. Keith told him he'll take care of us all. Paul has come and prayed over him. Cathy dropped by and checked on him, and brought Mike and Lukas with her. And Clara stopped in with CJ. Micky called for updates while driving back to N.C. Gwen called, Lanny called, Larry called, Loretta called, Bob called. So many of us who love him!
And there's more...I just can't name them all tonight...I'm sorry if I've missed your name, but you know you are in our hearts. Thank you.
As for me, I sing to him..."Jesus Loves Me". And I lay my hands on his, and pray fervently for the Lord's servant, Keith.
Tomorrow's another day...........

Saturday, June 5th

Very emotional day for us all. It seems so near, yet at the same time, Dad seems so strong...physically & mentally. Emily & Micky got home near suppertime, and we were so glad to see them. They will be staying over through the night, and Keith, Kris, Doug & I will go back in the morning.
Mom is very brave, hugging us and telling us we'll be okay. How does she do that? My mother is equally strong...she learned from the best, I guess.
I talked on the phone to Bob, Larry, and Lanny today. Such a wonderful family we have...thank you for being there for us.
Cathy came over for awhile, and Doug brought over pizza for the evening meal. Emotionally spent, but physically fed.
Until tomorrow.........

Friday, June 4th

The Hospice nurse came to the house today. She (Marsha) did an evaluation, and went over lots of things with Mom for a couple hours. She examined Dad, and then talked about what the nurses would do each time they arrive.
We have a short time left with him.
He is not always aware of his surroundings. In fact, at times I'm sure he's not aware I am there. Keith brought home some extra items from the hospital that should help us in caring for him. I think many times Mom must be spent...but she is still going strong. There are many sad times for us. And we are trying to make as many decisions now, while we can, rather than later.
Emily is on her way home from Texas...should arrive in the morning. I am staying at the house this evening, taking my turn at support & assistance as needed. I cooked a small supper for Mom and myself...meatless spaghetti and Italian blend veggies! And I've just come home quickly to shower & write this blog, then I'm on my way back (it's only a 4 block distance for those who don't know...this end of town seems to be the Wilson compound! Keith is just a block from me, and 4 from the folks!)
Pray for an easy night for Dad, Mom and myself. The least amount of anxiety, the better!
Pray for strength!
Love to everyone...

Thursday, June 3

Happy Birthday to my sister, Emily! She is "__" years old today!

Today I must say, Dad seems to be slipping away...a slow decline that shocks & stuns me every time I see him again. Mom is amazing. I'm so proud of her.

Doug brought over some fresh strawberries for her, and she really enjoyed them with ice cream. He brought over some radishes, too, since she mentioned she was hungry for those, too. The garden is growing strong!

Mom asked Kris to spend the night and stay in the spare bedroom. It makes her feel better having someone there for support, just like last weekend when Emily and Mick stayed over.
I went into the bedroom before I left, and told Dad goodnight. He said, "Good night...see you tomorrow."

June 2, Wednesday

Dad was confused today. When I arrived after work, Mom was busy talking to him about what was happening.

He hasn't had much to drink today. And a couple times has gotten out of bed without her knowledge. I don't think he recognized me, or realized I was there, even though I got very close to his face.

Keith stopped by later, after I'd left to go to Austin's ball game, and remarked upon the same thing...he didn't think Dad recognized him either.

I'm hoping that he will sleep through the night. Mom is getting so tired, and her back is hurting (that half-bent position we get into when we talk to him while he's laying in bed).

Hospice has been contacted, and the first visit is scheduled for Friday morning. Please pray for Dad, a servant of our Lord Jesus Christ, and a child of God. And pray for Mom, a child of the Lord in need of His strength and love.

Tuesday June 1

In his own words, Dad said, "Had a bad day." Wasn't strong enough to get up from bed, though he did sit on the side for a bit. His voice seems weaker, his stomach more upset, his vision also affected.

As he was holding my hand tonight, he accidentally scratched me. Apologizing, he said, "Oh, I scratched you." I told him it was alright, it was nothing. He said, "My fingernails are kinda long." I agreed, and told him we'd have Mom clip them tomorrow.

He seems concerned about us...asking both Keith and I if we'd had a hard day at work. Several times. We all talked about the severe thunderstorms that went through tonight. (We were all grateful there was no tornado activity!) He could hear the thunder.

At one point when Mom walked into the room, Dad said, "There's that pretty lady." Then, Mom started yawning, so Keith, Kris & I said we'd all go home so she could get to bed. The storm was over anyway. We didn't have to worry about what to do if the tornado sirens sounded!

Long day.

Memorial Day 2010

No news is good news today. Nothing out of the ordinary. Dad was even up this afternoon for awhile, sitting on the side of the bed, talking to us. He ate some broth & drank some milk. He even had some Gatorade today, and liked it!
Thank you, Brandon & Kevin, for your service to our country. I'm so proud of you both, you'll never know how much! This is the day we should all reflect on the sacrifices made daily by the military personnel, including all veterans who served during the nearly 234 years of our existence as a nation.
Hope everyone enjoyed the holiday weekend!
Until tomorrow....................

Sunday before Memorial Day

Scary morning. Scary night. Trying to stay on top of the pain, so it won't get so bad. Hopefully things will be better throughout this night.
All of us spent the day together. We had lunch on the deck, and then slowly everyone left so Mom could lay down and get a power nap.
Love to all!

May 29

Today is actually my Ethan's birthday...Happy 9th birthday, Ethan! I did get to call him and sing to him today. He and his family live in Monterey, CA now, and I miss them all!
Dad had plenty of company today. He got up and came out to the living room to sit with his sister, my Aunt Gwen, and her 2 sons...Larry & Rex. We were also joined by Dad's nephew, Bob Wilson and his wife Shirley. Everyone got a chance to visit before heading out to the cemeteries for decorating.
I really enjoyed meeting Bob again. He and his wife are interesting people. We need to get together more and often. And of course, Aunt Gwen is one of my favorites. I have always admired her beauty and kind spirit. The family used to call her "Gwenddy"...or at least Dad did! And that name suits her!
After doing my own decorating at the Clarinda Cemetery this afternoon, I went back to the folks' and spent some time talking to Dad. Mom got out his Bible, where inside he keeps the last birthday card from his mother that he received. Inside is three dollar bills. I read the card aloud, and the sentiment she wrote to him. She commented that he was a fine son. I say yes, and fine husband, fine brother, fine father...............
Tossing out the Ambien was a brilliant idea. Dad is able to talk to us, and he feels better about that too! He still uses the pain meds, but less dosage. He is drinking, and still on blended soups or broth.
It was another beautiful day...the heat is really here to stay for the summer! Time for bar-b-ques, beans, "tater" salad, and lemonade!
Until tomorrow..........

Friday May 28

Hi, everyone!
Dad had a much better night after skipping the Ambien. And he seemed to sleep well without it. He's more coherent today, is responsive, and much easier to talk to!
His back hurts, but he's been laying down flat on the bed today more than in the past. I'm not expert, so I'm not sure if they're connected. Tomorrow will be another hot day, so I told him we'd try to get him out on the deck again. He said he'd like that.
I think Aunt Gwen will be here tomorrow to decorate for Memorial Day. I'm not sure if Rex or Larry, or both, are coming down with her. My cousin Bob Wilson is expected to be here, too. He has been wanting to see Aunt Gwen, and they'll be meeting here around noon, we think. So, I'm thinking lemonade & a fresh fruit desert might be refreshing. Anyone have any suggestions?
I've had a craving for biscotti all day. It would be so good with my coffee...so, I stopped at the HyVee...nothing. Called the Fareway store...nothing. What's happening here? Someone dropped the ball, and didn't re-stock the shelves! May have to start shopping in Maryville from now on, for sure!
It was a long day at work. Not sure if my busy schedule is catching up with me, or if the upcoming 3-day weekend was causing me to be fidgety and anxious for 3:30! Regardless, I'd like to work a movie into the weekend, along with spending time with family, church, and relaxing in the sun/shade!
Hope everyone has a SAFE and relaxing holiday! It's been a long time coming (the time between New Years and Memorial is longer every year!).
Let's all thank a soldier for his service in protecting our Constitutional freedoms and way of life. We wouldn't be here in this fantastic country without them and all veterans who have gone before. I'm proud to be an American!
God Bless the U.S.A.!

Thursday

Dad is not getting any more Ambien for now. The thinking here is that in not using it, he may be less confused & maybe less sleepy throughout the day. After several bad nights in a row for Mom, we're praying this may help him sleep better in the night, and be more alert during the day. Other meds have been changed also...guess it's just like a recipe and we're trying to get the right combination.

He's been drinking milk, and drinking blended soups. And, if I understood her right, he got outside on the deck for a bit this afternoon.

When I stopped by tonight after Austin's game, Dad was in bed, so Mom & I went on in the bedroom. He saw me behind her and asked, "Is that Ann?" She said, "Yes, she's come to check on you." I stepped forward, grabbed his hand, and he squeezed back, saying, "You don't need to come check on me. I'm okay." So, I told him I was checking on Mom. :-)

Hopefully, tomorrow night I'll have good news to report! Let's pray for a good night!

Love to all of you!

Wednesday

Hi, everyone! I've been busy again this evening at Cathy's house. She and Mike were both working tonight, and I spent the evening at the house with the kids. Austin made brownies (told him he could if he cleaned up his mess) and we watched the finale of American Idol.
I spent an hour with Mom and Dad beforehand. I get off work at 3:30, and today stopped by the grocery store before heading up there. I guess Dad had some broth mid-afternoon, so wasn't quite ready for his evening meal.
Today I can report that he seemed to be sleeping a little more, and his feet swelling a little more. He is continually nodding off while sitting upright in his recliner, and I still think the pain meds are to blame. Dad did tell me he was "so tired of being tired".
Pastor Andy stopped by while I was there. Mom said he was stopping by every day. She told Dad it was probably because he might be out of town this coming holiday weekend.
We prayed before he took off, all of us getting in a circle near Dad so we could hold hands. I feel the presence of the Lord is near, waiting.

Late Tues night

Spoke to Keith about an hour ago. Nothing new to report...Dad is sleeping a lot and not able to eat much, and still swelling up with fluids. He also said Mom has chairs in the yard, ready for the time when he has strength enough to get down the steps. Unfortunately, there are steps no matter which way he leaves the house. We are grateful that the deck is there, and is covered.
Austin & Luk-a-saurus are both in bed. Halle is on her way. They only have two more days of school. Cathy has texted Austin...looks like they are having a good time at the concert!
Good night, everyone!

May 25

I will be up at Cathy's house this evening. She and Mike are going to Omaha for the Nickelback concert. So, I just called and talked to Mom. She said the outdoor adventure didn't happen yet, but the chairs are in the yard & ready for occupancy!
If there is more later tonight, I will post again. Otherwise, no news is good news!

Later...

I just got home from the game...Austin's team didn't win. But it was still fun for the spectators! I love baseball season.
So, more on Dad...he was able to go outside today and sit on the deck for awhile. The temps were high (high 80's) and humidity just as high (I think!) He told me he'd like to be able to get down into the grass...think we'll work on that one.
Mom said that he's tired of Ensure...I suppose it would get old after awhile. But seems to like diluted oj, milk, and Sprite.
And speaking of Mom...we are trying to keep an eye on her. She missed her own checkup this month, but tells me "it's okay...it's just a checkup". Hope she doesn't get upset with me for spilling the beans...
Please feel free to pass on the URL to any more of our cousins, aunts, uncles, etc. I don't want to miss anyone.

Dad

Today, Dad is about the same...still sleeping a lot in his chair during the day. He gets up late morning, gets dressed, and sits in his recliner by the front window. Yesterday he was not eating well, Mom was concerned, but I'm wonderin' if the oxycontin is building up in his system, making him tired.
Tonight I will be going to Austin's first baseball game of the season. It's against Atlantic, and is here in town. I'll be down at the folks' later, and will try to post more after the game.
Thanks to my daughter-in-law's sister Bri, who got me thinking that this was a convenient way to let all my family know about my father and his condition.
More later...